I lack comprehension of myself; as a human, a life-form and as me. Deep contemplation about who I am and what I represent loops in an infinite spiral; and then I am back to my first thought: “Why?”
As humans we’ve began to understand the how, the what, the when but fail at the last hurdle: “Why?”
“Why am I here?” “Why is the earth the only habitable place in our solar system?”
“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us ‘universe’, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” – Einstein
Though this makes sense, it does not explain, it acts as an imperative: “You don’t know, I don’t know so buckle up and enjoy the ride” . I have found that any ‘deep’ debate (religion etc.) I have always concludes to this: “We simply don’t know”
I wish to speak from my own perspective, my own reality. What I see is different from yours. My world, my experiences differ from yours so I cannot truly understand you, nor can you me.
“No one will know you as you do yourself”
This saying has always stuck to me. What is it to understand and know oneself? To be honest, all I see in this quote is “No one will know you, and neither will you; but try”
Why chase such a paradox? It has taken humanity several millennia to just grasp the concept of life, space, earth etc. yet we are so limited in our knowledge of the world; we know more about the exterior than the interior.
“I stare into myself when I look into the infinity that is space”
Does this suggest I am as infinite as it? Perhaps, but not in flesh; I am a mortal. Life lasts longer than first depicted by others. Life is infinite in its own way and so are we; our thoughts, intelligence but most importantly our imagination.
So do indeed escape from the prison that is human life and experience life the way it should be; In its beauty and in you.
I certainly will. Nothing is truly impossible, that I believe. But I can conclude that I do not understand myself, but I sure like the way I am.
I wish to conclude by offering a different perspective. Instead of asking why? why not “Who?” I posed myself this question a countless number of times and thought: “I am but a speck of dust in a oasis of infinity”, but, finally, I have attained a new found inner calm.
“Who am I?” A living paradox
By a living paradox